What do you get when you cross a horse with an onion a piece of ass that would bring a tear to your eyes
The cake monster
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Funny things
My car is faster than a cheat up on crack
Damn
(Source: vivamus-atque-amemus-mea-lesbia, via jrmymckln)
Me cooking pork chop salad
I bet he was like what the fuck bitch imma kill you both
Funny
God, grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.
Funny
Women might be able to fake orgasms. But men can fake a whole relationship.
